10 Former U.S. Presidents Who Also Had Produce-Shaped Penises

In light of excerpts taken from Stormy Daniels’ up-and-coming book, Full Disclosure, wherein she describes current POTUS Donald J. Trump’s penis as being “smaller than average,” but “not freakishly small,” and having a “huge mushroom head,” I decided to research other former U.S. presidents who had produce-shaped penises. Here are 10 of the most outlandish I found:

Barack Obama: Eggplant: We all know where the emoji came from.  

Bill Clinton: Asparagus: Nothing impressive, and much skinnier than you’d expect. Many women also said he’d often preface intercourse by stating, “Don’t worry if your pee smells afterwards. That’s just natural.”

Lyndon Johnson: Butternut Squash: Johnson was known for flaunting his freakish phallus, and he most certainly had something to show off.

Harry S. Truman: Pickling Cucumber: Some say that Truman must have had massive cojones to drop two atomic bombs on Japan, yet while there might have been some grapefruits swinging between his legs, there wasn’t much else to impress.

William Howard Taft: Ginger Root: A thick, shapely man, through and through. Plus, ginger is said to be able to knock out any illness within the body. It’s like the natural Trust Buster.  

Theodore Roosevelt: Baby Plantain: All of that masculinity was compensating for something.

John Tyler: Turmeric Root: John Tyler, born in 1790, has two grandsons that are still alive today. Now that’s virility you can count on.    

William Henry Harrison: Watermelon: He stood out in the cold, without a jacket, while orating his nearly two hour commencement speech. He might have died of hypothermia, but WHH showed he had some true big dick energy (BDE).  

Andrew Jackson: Pecan: Now you know the real reason he was called Old Hickory.

George Washington: Cherry Tree.

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