Did Donald Trump Commit Obstruction of Justice? Yes, but I’m More Concerned with My Dad’s Diet

The Mueller Investigation has finally come to an end. With Attorney General Barr’s four-page report stating Trump has been exonerated from all charges of collusion, the administration hopes that the American people can finally rest easy. However, the American people want to see the report, as they feel as if there is information that will be withheld from them, information that will prove troublesome for Trump and his compatriots.

Besides charges of collusion, Barr did mention that nothing can be said regarding charges of obstruction of justice. This is compelling, and worrying, because of both Michael Cohen’s recent testimony before Congress, where he revealed that President Donald Trump indirectly instructed him to lie, and various reports from sources like the New York Times describing Trump’s efforts to undermine the Mueller Investigation, it sounds certain that President Trump has attempted to commit obstruction of justice on numerous occasions.

This is worrisome, as no POTUS should be obstructing justice. But, to be honest, I’m more concerned with the obstruction of my Dad’s arteries due to the plaque buildup his diet must be causing.

Obstruction of justice is a crime that often sees criminals destroying, altering or hiding evidence to keep information out of the public eye, whether by coordinating lies, revising documents or threatening witnesses. My Father, on the other hand, is clogging his arteries due to poor dietary choices. I walked into the kitchen the other morning, having to take a break from Morning Joe’s reporting of Trump’s follies, to find my Dad eating 12 plain hard-boiled eggs. They were just sitting in a little pyramid on a plate. There was no sauce or scrumptious dip even near him. His eyes seemed glazed over as he shoved one hard-boiled egg after another into his mouth, only taking brief pauses to have a sip of coffee or quietly belch. I almost said something to him, disgusted by his breakfast, but I heard Joe Scarborough say something snarky about an early morning Trump tweet and I had to rush back into the other room see just what that oaf had tweeted out.

The strangest thing is that Trump isn’t attempting to hide his obstruction. Rather, he seems to be doing it in plain sight. Whether he was calling the Mueller Investigation a “hoax,” “witch hunt,” or “deep state” attack in-person or on Twitter, Trump seemed to keep digging this obstruction whole even deeper, but he somehow keeps getting away with it!

Similarly, my Father seems to relish in his high-cholesterol, heart-stopping meals, not even attempting to hide it behind closed doors. Just this afternoon, after I finished writing a think piece about Trump’s attempts to discredit the Special Counsel’s investigation and how the “no collusion” argument is nothing more than a baseless lie, I decided to walk into the kitchen to grab a glass of soymilk. Dad was sitting at the kitchen table, staring off in the distance while he slowly worked his way through a 4-ounce portion of steak and one cup of steamed broccoli. I was proud of him, as he seemed to be practicing portion control, especially when it came to the red meat, but when he had finished he walked over to the cabinet and pulled out an entire loaf of Wonder Bread. One or two slices of bread wouldn’t have been bad, but he carried the whole loaf over to the table, sat down, opened its wrapping and began working on it. It was as if he entered into another a trance, slowly working through the bread one dry bite after another. While it wouldn’t have been healthier for him to have slathered some butter or peanut butter on each slice before eating it, I would have preferred it that way. Instead, he just sucked down one plain slice, another and another until the 20-ounce loaf was gone. I was going to smack the bread out of his hand, scolding him for his eating habits, but I received a text message alerting me that Trump had just made another intergalactic gaffe, so I held my tongue and rushed down to the basement to blog about it as quick as possible.   

It’s amazing how well this in-plain-sight obstruction strategy is working for Trump. He’s been able to long avoid criticism, even since before the 2016 election, by having people refer to his remarks as “Donald Trump just being Donald Trump.”

I hold great issue with this argument, as my Mother uses the same argument when I eventually criticise my Father’s diet. Last night I found him in front of the television watching Sean Hannity, eating a rotisserie chicken as if it were a corn on the cob, holding it between both his hands and ripping off strands of roasted flesh with his teeth. There was chicken juice all over his shirt and face—it was even running down his arms. Yet he just sat there, transfixed by Hannity and his coverage of how liberals were slovenly pigs who ate Tide Pods and writhed about in their own feces, nibbling away at the chicken carcass without a trace of delight or disgust. Once he had finished, placing the chicken’s cleaned skeleton upon his lap, I was relieved. However, he pulled out another rotisserie chicken from beside his chair and began eating it just the same as before. I walked into the other room to consult Mom, but she told me, “That’s just your Father,” shooing me away so she could continue reading her In Touch Weekly magazine. I returned to the basement and began reading Huffington Post articles, disgusted by the awful statements that Sarah Huckabee Sanders had made in defense of the President’s past lewd comments.

If this “Donald Trump just being Donald Trump” statement is true, it should be cause for concern: if Trump has committed Obstructed of Justice, and is nothing more than an idiot who surrounded himself with corrupt officials, how deep do these governmental infractions go in the GOP, those who have supported him since the beginning?

If this same statement is also true for my Dad, how long is his heart going to hold out for? and how long will I be able to continue living rent free before I have to pony up cash for his eventual quadruple bypass surgery?  

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